The Manual to Getting Set Up in Dubai

When I decided to take the step and move to Dubai, people told me that have lived here or are currently living here, that patience would be KEY to getting through the first couple of months. Little did I know just how much patience I would need!! For such a developed country in so many ways (like architecture and creating things beyond anyone else's in the world), they are SO behind in just simple logistical things...like getting Visas, cable/internet, postal system, etc. SO, for anyone that is interested in moving to Dubai, I have created a manual and personal experience on just what documents you need and time it will take...enjoy!
1) Key to anything is getting your Resident Visa, without this your life simply does not exist. Now in most countries you would get this PRIOR to your arrival into the new country. Not in Dubai. Your work will first issue you a temporary entry Visa, then once you arrive, they will actually start the application process for your real Visa...strange right?! This Visa process can take anywhere from 1-2 months (mine took 1.5). In the meantime, you might as well just sit at home with zero entertainment OR take taxis everywhere, because your hands are tied otherwise with not being able to get cable/internet, a drivers license, bank account or really anything else. In order to get the Resident Visa you need to go through a medical exam...certainly not a pleasant experience. You are shuttled to what seems like a 3rd world country medical establishment where you line up like cattle and wait your turn. (Remember the ratio in Dubai is something like 9 males for every 1 female, so a LOT of stares your way!) Your blood in drawn, then you enter a separate room where you have to strip to nothing waist up for x-rays. If other females are there, you're all in the same room together...just like camp or something :) (I'm being sarcastic if you aren't reading through the lines). In addition to the medical exam, you need a crap ton of passport photos, so just go to Costco and stock up! Once all the paperwork is in, the wait begins...
2) Once you get your resident visa, the fun really begins...ha ha. This is the story of my process getting everything set up:
-Bank Account: you need a letter from your employer stating your monthly salary and passport photo, along with copy of passport and Visa. Prior to getting my bank account set up, I received my first paycheck in a check form. I went to the bank to cash it and they stated I needed my passport to cash the check. Here is the dialog that took place:
"I do not have my passport because it is with your government getting a Visa. I have brought a copy of my passport and WA Driver's License."
Clerk response, "these are not valid. I need your passport OR Emirates ID."
Me, "I do not have these because they are getting processed with your government at the moment."
Clerk, "Well this check is written as Lindsey Graff or the bearer, so technically anyone can cash your check. Would you like your friend to cash for you?"
Me, "Lana, will you cash my check for me while I'm standing at the counter with a passport photo copy which is not valid, yet you can cash my check for me?!?!"
Again...logic people!! Absolutely makes no sense. After my first check, my second was deposited into my new bank account here in Dubai...hip hip hooray! Getting that set up was a LONG wait. Imagine going to drivers license place where you take the ticket number and wait for your number to be called. That's EVERY place here in Dubai, banks included. So I had originally planned to check out a few banks to weigh out my options. But after waiting over 45 min to speak to the first bank, I decided to just go with them! Ha! Emirates NBD...so far, so good, so hopefully that stays!
3) Cable/Internet: everything in your life is ruled by your job and company in Dubai. So, you need "permission" from your employer for everything. To get cable/internet set up, I went and did the stand in line for 45 min again only to find out I did not have my letter of permission from my employer! Agh. So back to the hotel I go to get this letter from HR. Basically it's called a No Objection Letter which the hotel types out saying my name, position, salary, and they have no objection to me getting cable/internet in MY home. Since my apartment is part of my package and the hotel technically rents it for me, I also needed a letter of the lease, and permission from the owners...this is just for cable/internet set up. Never before did I think I would actually miss Comcast! So, after getting all these documents, back to the mall (this is where the cable place is located) and another 45 min wait, I FINALLY get scheduled for the service to come in 4 days...record timing for set up! I now have over 200 channels of Arabic television and a whopping 16 in English :) Taking any old TV series as care packages...just saying
4) Driver's License: As a tourist you can rent and drive a car in the UAE. However, as a resident you need a proper driver's license. In order to get this, most countries have to go through extensive training that is costly and takes a great deal of time. Thankfully as a US citizen I can just swap by US driver's license for a UAE one. But even this is an adventure. Learning from experience with the cable situation, I called ahead this time to ask specifically which documents I would need. I was told I needed the following: copy of passport and visa, old driver's license, a no objection letter from employer, and Emirates ID. Problem is I still didn't have my Emirates ID (this is separate from the Visa...basically another form of identification you need as a resident in the UAE.) So they said a copy of my application would be fine. So I gather these documents and my colleague nicely brings me to RTA (the transportation division of government here.) This time I arrive right at opening to avoid the long wait...or so I thought. Approaching the counter, the gal says the copy of my Emirates ID application is not the valid one...ahhhhhhh. I told the lady then, "I am not leaving this establishment until I have my driver's license in hand. What EXACTLY do I need?" So after several calls, faxing back and forth with distorted copies, emails, and pretty much every other form of communication I finally got the copy of the Emirates ID (which by the way, they actual one had come into the hotel and was sitting in the HR department...nice of them to let me know when I asked for the application the day prior. They could have just given me the actual ID instead!) Finally sitting down to get the Driver's License another person tells me I need an additional document, which no one had told me before (on the phone or in person when I first arrived.) I nearly lost it, asked to speak to the manager and we finally agreed I had all documentation needed. (They were asking for a specific letter from the owner's of The Palm island stating I could get a license. But, because I am a manager I do not need this letter. Lower paying colleagues would however. Crazy how much influence the government has here in your personal life.) So 3 hours later, I successfully walked out with an Emirates Driver's License!
5) Alcohol License: Yes, to legally drink in the private of your home, you need an alcohol license to buy and consume. You do not need this however to drink in bars/clubs. In order to receive this you need the following documents: copy of passport and Visa, passport photo, completed application stamped by employer, no objection letter from employer and a no objection letter from owners (which cost around $20 to receive.) Once collecting these documents you drop off at the liquor store, pay $45, and wait a good month or so before it's ready to go. I'm still waiting for this license, so in the meantime, anyone who comes to visit is required to stop at duty free and pick up the allotted 4 liters! :)
And THAT is how you get set up in Dubai! Hopefully this helps the next poor soul from having to go through at least half of what I have had to!! ha ha